Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Part 2....Hospital stay with Holden

Isaiah 42:16......"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."



It's amazing to me that before the foundation of the world God knew this verse would bring encouragement to even me. "I will lead Hope by ways she has not known, I will guide Hope, I will turn darkness into light before Hope. These are the things I will do for Hope; I will not forsake her"



Do you see it? These are the things HE will do. It's not about what I can do. He's the point. He has all the power, He is the strong one. "Because HE lives I can face tomorrow, because HE lives all fear is gone, because I know HE holds the future, life is worth the loving just because HE lives"



I didn't post yesterday....it was just a hard day and I didn't have the energy but His mercies are new every morning. I really hate the night time. When it starts to get dark is usually when fear creeps in and it seems to be the worst part of the day. I Do NOt! want to live in fear. Fear paralyzes. It reminds me of snow skiing a few years ago. I finally was able to learn how because we were in Colorado and I wasn't pregnant :) I thought I was ready to leave the bunny slope and try the first real run. As we got higher and higher I could feel the fear coming. We got off the ski lift and I started down the mountain only to realize I couldn't see over each hump. I felt so out of control, like I was going to ski straight into the trees. I didn't think I could stop myself. So, I just decided to sit down on the mountain and not go any further. I was literally gripped with fear. Billy was awesome (as always :) he tried to gently "coach" me but I would have nothing of it. We started walking down the mountain but you can imagine how that was trying to walk in those awful boots. Ok, I can laugh about it now......the ski patrol had to come and get me and take me down the mountain. And you know what, once I let him have control there was no more fear. I had complete confidence that he could get me safely down the mountain, and riding down on that sled thing was the most fun I had all day.



And so it is with God....Even though the fear seems so great and I feel paralyzed at times, I know that He is Able.....He is able to carry me when I can't possibly keep going, He can bring peace and joy when I wonder if it will ever fully be in my life again....He is able to love me in spite of my sin and selfish heart that is full of yuck....and He is able to take the fear that grips my heart as I think of possibly losing another child like we did this past weekend.



So I'm finally back around to Holden. The pediatric Dr. got there and said they wanted to keep Holden for at least 48 hours to watch him and wait for the blood work to come back. Billy broke down for the first time(at the hospital). I had an upset stomach the entire hospital stay....the worst I've ever had. You know that nervous pit in your stomach that won't go away. And of course on top of that we were/are so emotionally spent. The Dr. decided to not continue trying to do the spinal tap unless Holden got worse during the night. God put me back together enough to be able to go see Holden.(I know it always seems I'm saying I feel the need to be strong in front of Holden but, don't worry, he has seen me cry often. We encourage him to talk about Alaina and to never feel like he is going to upset us by what he says. I just didn't want to make him anymore nervous than he already was in that hospital room!!!) He wanted me to tell The Three Billygoats. He still had tears on his face. We were finally given a room and then the waiting really began. That first night was one of the hardest nights of my life....probably second only to the first night we lost Alaina.



They had Holden hooked to some kind of oxygen monitor that constantly showed numbers going up and down. I stared at that box so much that night. My heart beat faster every time the I V started beeping (and this was all night because it beeped every time Holden bent his arm). I didn't fall asleep until the sun started coming up. Holden's fever got up to 103 something. They were able to get the fever down after some medicine. The Dr. started antibiotics through his I V. He was able to sleep that first night. The next morning he was improving but we were still very afraid. Then, he asked me what I knew he was probably thinking....."Am I gonna die????"



I said, "I don't think so, baby. I think you're going to be just fine." I was begging God, saying over and over, "please don't take him, please don't take him!" Throughout the next day he continued to get better and I was feeling the prayers on our behalf. The second morning the Dr. came to see us again and the tests came back all negative. The Dr. said he laid awake staring at the ceiling that night thinking about whether or not he should give me, Billy MaryH. and Elley an antibiotic.

We don't have much information about Alaina. We do know that she had viral meningitis but most people don't die from this. Many have it and never even know it. She should've been sick for several days. They are testing to see if she had some kind of underlying something we didn't know about......but we weren't even sure it she had viral or bacterial when we were in the hospital with Holden. It was very frustrating because we knew this could help the Dr. know how to treat. BUT AGAIN, God is the ONE who is ultimately in control no matter how much we think we know or how much we DON'T know.

We were able to come home Sunday after the Dr. came to our room and said all the tests were negative and he could see Holden's improvement.

Now we're thankful beyond words for Holden's quick recovery, but also hit once again with the hard and painful reality that we've lost Alaina.

I'll end with a quote I keep in my bible.....

"God is too wise not to know all about us and what
is really best for us to be and to have.
And He is too good not to desire our highest good
and too powerful, desiring not to effect it.
If then what He has appointed for us does not
seem to us the best--or even to be good--
our true course is to remember that He sees further than we do--
and that we shall understand Him in time when His plans
have unfolded themselves. Meanwhile, casting all our care
upon Him since He careth for us."

Henry Parry Liddon

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hope.
Thank you for the update. Thank you for sharing your heart and being so real. Reading your blog is almost as good as seeing you and hearing you tell the story. We and many others continue to pray for you and your family. I just spoke with my mom, and I had shared your letter from Alaina's funeral with her. She chose to share it with my grandparents. See, the day you buried Alaina was exactly 4 years to the date they buried my aunt. She died of a brain aneurysm(sp?). She was 48, anyway my grandparents can't get past it, they are stuck and hurt and just can't see the glory in her death. My mom shared your letter with them in hope that they could see that Bethann's death was out of their control. There is nothing that could of been done for her, because God is in control, not us. They are believers, but for whatever, reason just can't give up the control and let God carry them thru. My mom and I agree, you and Billy are an inspiration. And I am so thankful to call you friend.
Love
Kari V.

April Brown said...

Hope, it's amazing to me to see you suffering with Alaina's death while in the bosom of the Lord. I know you are hurting beyond my own understanding, but to see you so open to the Lord and facing each day BECAUSE HE LIVES is so challenging! Really, I just don't know how to put it. You'll never know how much i'm being impacted by you and your faith! Thank you sweet friend!! We are praying for you all!

nan said...

Hope,
We are so glad Holden is O.K. Thank you for your post. We do love you guys and you are still in our prayers with out ceasing. I am humbled, encouraged and challenged by your life, faith, courage and honesty. I know it is because of God and His grace. Thank you for choosing to be a beacan of light in the midst of this very dark time.
love,
nan

Golby said...

Hope,
Thanks for writing what you feel, Amy and I feel so far away and helpless. We’ve heard every story of strength, worship and pain and can only say it adds so much to how we talk about our alive and powerful Savior. We think of you in the quiet of the night and pray for your fear-I know how bitter loss can taste when you feel alone.

Tell Billy- I love him and my deer are bigger than his.

Peder and Amy

thewheelerfamily said...

Hope, Thank you for sharing your heart. To read your thoughts brings me to tears one minute and laughter the next. Bo and I continue to pray for you and Billy and your family. I am constantly thinking of you. Bo and I have had some really great talks about our lives and kids since hearing about Alaina. What are we doing? What are we living for? These talks have been so wonderful and I have been convicted by the Holy Spirit of my control freak nature. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and God's truth as it is challenging me in my walk with Christ. Gayle

Danny and Jennifer White said...

Love you guys.

Allison said...

Hope - I appreciate your vulnerability in sharing all that you feel. It helps so much to know how to pray for you and Billy specifically. Your family is continually in our thoughts and prayers.

nick, robyn and taylor said...

I am so encouraged by your faith and that your eyes are steadfast on Him. The quote that you ended with is wonderful.

Robyn

Anonymous said...

Hope
You are such a testimony to God's love and grace. Reading your journal entries brings us all closer to the Lord. I know Martha and Jimmy are so proud of you. I continue to pray for all of you and thank you for being such a blessing to us all.
Love,
Mrs. Thompson

Shea said...

I think of your mom and dad as often. What good people they are; good Godly people. When your mom spoke of you and the children she did so with such pride! I would always ask your dad how you were and he'd always laugh a bit before saying with a big smile "She's fine." I know this has been so hard for them; they love you so much. We all love you and continue to lift you all higher and higher with our daily prayers.

John 20:29 says "...blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." You don't need to see Him to know...He is there!

BKicklighter said...

Hope - I don't know you. I wish to heaven I did. The thought of being encouraged by the woman who just lost her daughter - it makes no sense. . .without the Lord. You have encouraged me. That quote by Liddon - wow! Thank you for sharing this journey with us. Thank you for choosing to believe truth. We will continue to pray that His grace will be sufficient - just as He said.

Elijah's Mom said...

You don't know me and I don't even know how I ended up on your blog but God is not a God of coincidence so I am here for a reason. I laid in bed last night and couldn't get you and your family out of my mind. I cried for you for over an hour. I prayed for you and prayed for myself because I kept thinking that God owns my children and He is free to take them at any time and frankly that scares me. I will continue to pray for you. I wish there was more I could do but I know the power of prayer. Just know there are people who mourn with you and pray for you that you will never know but God is faithful to hear us. He will bring you through this. He is always faithful. Love in Christ, Samantha

JJMERKEL said...

Hope, I am glad to hear that Holden is doing much better. Thank you for keeping us all informed. It just reminds me of how amazing you really are! Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us. We love you guys.

MTR said...

Hope,
Thanks so much for this blog. Its good for me to read it. Not sure if you saw it or not, but I shared my thoughts on my own blog here: http://fromthemorning.blogspot.com/2008/07/affected.html

I hope you keep writing here.

Kristin said...

We love you, dear friend. Jonathan and I recently had this discussion about the grip of fear and how easy it is for it to find us in the night. Delta posted something a few weeks ago about the night and how she longs for Heaven because she know there will be no night there... Anyway, I've thought of you each evening as the sun goes down since you lost Alaina , knowing that the night has to be so very hard for you. I always pray for you when I notice that it's getting dark...

I knew Holden would be wondering if he was going to die... We prayed for his precious, little mind. I'm glad that you and Billy and Holden are on the other side of that now, and that he is healthy and home.

We are still grieving with you and love you so much. Jesue is helping me be brave through your words, friend.

Matt, Carrie and Lucy Allen said...

Hope-
Is. 42:16 is one of my favorite verses...especially during the unknown! It was actually my verse for the summer we were in NZ.Oh, speaking of NZ, I have been meaning to write that I told my mom about ya'll and showed her your pictures and immediately she remembered you and Billy. she just said how impressed she was with ya'll then and she remembered that she asked Billy to make sure ya'll took good care of me while we were away-and of course ya'll did! You both made a huge impact in my life then and even more so now...
lots of love-
Carrie

Joy said...

I really love the sled analogy. I'll have to remember that one.

We are thrilled Holden didn't have meningitis. I wish you had all your "reasons" for losing Alaina. I wish all the answers were there. I hope they will be soon, although the "real reasons" may not be known til heaven. I had to cry when I read Holden's question about dying. I know he was so scared, as you were. I don't know why he got sick, but I really feel the devil had something to do with it, and I'll be upping my efforts to pray for your spiritual protection. =)

Your quote at the end was beautiful. Thank you for sharing so much!

I'm praying the nights get easier.

Joy Goode Hutzler

Stephanie said...

Hope,
Thank you for sharing all that you have been through with all of us. I've been checking your blog quite often now, and I am always moved by the words I know our God is guiding you to write. I can just see you, fervently typing, words hitting the page, even before you possibly know what it is you are going to write. Your thoughts and vulnerability are so awe-inspiring. You are ministering through all of this to so many, and in turn so many people are praying constantly for you and your family. I just praise God that Holden is doing so well and I praise Him for your openess. We are continuing to cover you and your family with prayer.You are loved!!
Stephanie and Skipper Malcom

lisa richburg said...

Hope,
still praying:)...prayin' in the mornin', prayin'in the evenin', prayin', prayin', prayin' when the sun goes down...is that an "old school" sunday school song? If not, it should be:)
God is using you in incredible ways...in my life, and in the lives of hundreds (probably thousands) of others.
love you guys,
Lisa R.

Lisa West said...

Hope - please know that you, Billy and the children continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. I was so happy to read that Holden is alright. Your posts are opening my eyes and my heart to the bigger picture. Thank you. Be strong my friend and know that you have so many friends and family that care about all of you.
Lisa

christine dawkins said...

Dear Hope and Billy-we love you guys so much! We prayed for you and Holden and your family and were so honored to do so. You are continually in my prayers, truly. God is supporting you and He is so faithful. I have to space time out between reading you blog-I cry and I worship and I am convicted. God's glory is shining through all of you. I love you, Christine

Lori Ellen said...

Hopey-T,

Rachel sent me the link to your blog last Wed or Thursday. I of course immediately went to read your entries...I'm a relatively new blogger myself, so this is a bit of a new obsession for me. ANyway, I read your heart-wrenching, humbling, and awe-inspiring entries and wanted to comment right away. The problem is that during my first 4 attempts, I couldn't see my computer screen through my tears. I've always loved you and respected your faith, but the strength you've shown lately has literally brought me to my knees. Look what God can do! I am so inspired by you and the example you've set. I told you that I have a blog of my own. I've made it password protected, so email me at loriellensutton@gmail.com and I'll send you the link. I hope you don't mind, but what I read in your blog inspired a post of my own. I've been so angry at God for nine years for losing mother and to hear your struggle, but the peace you have within days of losing Alaina hit me like a ton of bricks. Please know this, that your prayer that God would "use our journey to draw you to Himself" has been answered...at least in me. I'm just now reading your posts on Holden and cannot believe what you guys went through over the weekend. Please know this - I love you, I hate that we've only communicated via Christmas cards the past several years, I pray for you daily, and I hear God in every word you write! Please email me. I hate that I had to find out about your blog this way, but I'm glad I know about it so we can reconnect! Please give my love to Billy and your parents...and your kids, too...not that they know who I am (ha ha ha!)

Love,
Lori

Patric and Jennifer said...

An absolutely amazing story, Hope! I was on the edge of my seat as I was reading. Again, thank you so much for blogging. God is doing amazing things in your lives and hearts. Thank you for sharing it with all of us, with me. My heart needs not to fear. I will continue praying for you...and even more so in the night time.
Love,
Jennifer

Kari said...

Hope, your life and your walk with the Lord is so encouraging to me. To see you continue to walk, trust and struggle with the Lord. I wonder every day that if this were to happen to us, would I be able to still say that He is good. To read what you share makes me know that it is Him who gives the strength each day. We are still praying for you and will be. I am so glad Holden is better. Thank you again for sharing your life and your heart.

Lindsey said...

hope, thanks for sharing. we are still praying for you. it's so weird to feel so sad and heartbroken but so encouraged and hopeful at the same time. i am praying that your joy will return and somehow, the Lord will show you how to do that in the midst of great suffering. we love you and continue to think of you every minute of every day.

Rita said...

Hope,

I love you, friend. Your courage and faith are amazing. Thank you for sharing your heart, and allowing God to use this tragedy to minister to others. I know it must be hard to be so open and vulnerable in such a public way, but again, thank you. You are such a blessing.

I'm praying specifically against fear, especially at night.

You are loved!

Amy said...

hope, I have been praying that laughter would once again fill your home. I felt the Lord lay this on my heart and I know it is Him because the expectation of laughter in the midst of such sadness is simply upsurd to human mind - or at least mine. But I know that God's ways and thoughts are not ours nor are they to even be attempted to be understood. I know that your home has always been completely full of laughter and fun - it is the Atchison way. And I know that something about laughter brings health and healing. So Hope I am praying that God will bring you a day full of laughter and that somehow it ministers to your soul.

Sarah Hall said...

Wow Hope!

God is doing some amazing things in and through your life. The power of God is all over you as you encourage and challenge so many people and as you allow us to journey with you through these difficult days. I can see you as the next Beth Moore or Kay Arthur leading women across this nation to a deeper understanding of trusting God, no matter what.

As so many others have said, I appreciate you being so vulnerable. You are making a difference and definitely causing people to draw closer to the Father. Thank you! I am so encouraged and challenged as I read your writings.

I don't think I have ever grieved for anyone the way I have grieved with you, and I didn't even have the privilege of knowing sweet Alaina. There is definitely something unexplainable about relationships within the body Christ.

I am praying for you and your family and will continue to do so.I am so glad Holden is okay.

Love,
Sarah Hall

P.S. I loved the slide show. Billy said to watch, and it would give us a small glimpse into her life. She was such a cutie, filled with personality. I love the beach picture where she doing just as little girls like to do...showing her panties. In the midst of tears, it brought laughter!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Hope. I'm sure you don't have a clue who I am, but I'm a Choctaw County resident. I regret that we've not gotten to know each other because I could have drawn so much spiritual strength from you, and I feel I've been deprived of getting to know a beautiful family. Your faith and wisdom are such a blessing to me. Each time I go to your blog to see if you've posted, I am first struck by the beauty of your children and the obvious joy they possess. I pray that the joy they have in that picture will once again be in your family as His peace that passes all understanding is yours. Thank you for ministering to all of us through this blog spot. I have been and will continue to lift you up in prayer.
I was so touched by your words about fear and trusting God with our children. I had a miscarriage about 4 1/2 years ago, and I remember the fear that gripped me for quite some time. I had always felt that as long as I trusted God and leaned on Jesus nothing that bad would happen to me. When I lost that baby, the first thought I had was that perhaps God would allow something to happen to my older child. When I became pregnant again, I was terrified that something might happen again. I prayed that God would let me know that this baby was OK regularly because I couldn't stand the thought of going to a checkup and finding out there was no heartbeat again. Well, He was faithful.... He made me nauseous every day of that pregnancy, and Noah did not spend too many moments resting! :-) I pray that you receive the same peace that I had through that experience.
Much Love in Christ!
Dana

Anonymous said...

Hope,
You are the most amazing women I ever known. I'm praying for no more great stories any time soon!
I wish I could tell everyone about your trip down the mountain; that was a good one; or the time Dad and I played the blind skier game... loads of fun.
Billy

Kim said...

Hope, you do not know me. I found your blog through a friend. I'm afraid I won't speak as eloquently as the others commenting, but I am so in awe reading your postings. I am so sincerely sorry beyond words for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine what you are feeling, but the thought of losing one of my babies fills me w/so much fear and sorrow. I know you probably don't feel strong right now, but I believe you are one of the strongest people I've never met! You fill me with hope and your words encourage me to find my way closer to God. I'm praying for you and your family. I'm specifically praying that He helps get you through the nights. I thank God that your son is ok. And I will continue to pray that all of your kids remain healthy and safe. Psalm 34:17-18

Emily, Cory & Canon Martin said...

Hope-
Thanks for giving us the update and for sharing your heart with us. I am sure that the nights are the hardest times. It is in those moments, especially for us mothers, that we actually have time to think and use our mind. :) I promise to pray for you every night. Your faith, heart, and strength are amazing and this blog is such an inspiration to me. You and your family have already touched so many hearts.

Shea visited us this weekend and we went riding in the woods on our golf cart. She told us that you and her used to play "bank" at your window at home. We also talked about our lemonade stand on the Tuscahoma Road. Do you remember?

We love you and are praying for you.

The Harper Family said...

I want you to know that we are continuing to lift your family up in our prayers. God is still on the throne and I am praying that His Glory be shown in all of this. With all our love..

Lori
Arkansas

JJMERKEL said...

Billy, We often think of the blind Skier game that you and your dad had. Whenever sometone talks of going skiing we think of you!! Megan came running in my room this morning to tell me that people were breaking into your house. I ran in to her room and realised it was just your friends moving you. I am both glad for you and sad that you are going home. We miss you guys a ton. Do you need any extra help?

Anonymous said...

Hope -
Again, thank you, for being so open and sharing your stories with all of us. You are a huge inspiration! You have incredible strength!
We are so glad Holden is fine. I can hear his voice asking that dreaded question - it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
We promise to look you guys up when we go on our road trip to TN in the next couple of years - don't move on us!
Miss you guys!
Karen and Rob

Robbie & Dena said...

Dear Hope and Billy,
Robbie and I have been praying for you both, the children and all that God will touch through your journey. I am so sorry for your lose of Alaina. My heart wept when we heard and still does. I know that your Father is your comfort and sustainer but I hope you know that you have so many taking you before His throne in prayer. Keep clinging to him and may He continue to bring comfort as each day comes. Thank you for sharing so honestly and humbly. God in heaven is being glorified.
Love Dena and Robbie

Taylor6 said...

Hope,
Thank you for being so open and honest about your pain and struggles through this. You don't know me, but our family prays for yours every day. We are in Slade's Sunday school at ESPC - we must have come to the church right after you moved. Having 4 kids about the same ages (almost 6, 3 1/2, almost 2, and 2 months), we can only imagine the emptiness that you are experiencing without Alaina. My oldest, Scott, was with Holden at VBS and was at the pool swimming alongside him the day Alaina went home with the Lord. Sunday at church when the pastor prayed for Holden in the hospital, Scott Jr., who seems like he is never paying attention at church, perked up his little ears, and said "Holden? Is that my friend, Holden?" That day during our evening catechism time, he wanted to pray for Holden. We know that the Lord is glorifying himself through your family as we have seen it in the church family's grief, the way everyone has rallied around you, and the way it has affected our family (whom you have never even met). We praise God that He healed Holden and we continue to ask the God of all comfort whose mercies are new each day to still your hurting hearts and enable you to put one foot in front of the other each day as you grieve your daughter. I was reminded yesterday that He never gives us trials beyond what we can bear. He must have thought you guys were pretty strong in Jesus then! His word is so very true, so I know He will enable you to somehow keep on keeping on in His grace. Michelle & Scott Taylor (and our kids)

Carlton and Aimee Weathers said...

Hope- Can you feel my hug that I am giving you right now? SQUEEZE. Oh, girl. I wish I was with you. Just to sit by you and pray. Your precious heart...oh, how it has been hurting and I wish I could fix it. But, I can't. Our sweet precious Jesus is holding your heart close. And I know He does all things for purpose and nothing passes through His hand unoticed. He has put you in right smack dab in the middle of the refiners fire.

I am praying for your nights. I know how dark and scary they are. Keep some scripture cards near your bed and when you feel that "panic" start reading them out loud. This helped me.

I love you.

And yes, you will feel joy and peace again.

Swtgrits4u said...

Hope, I can only imagine what you and Billy have been through. Words cannot express what I feel for you and what I know you must be feeling. It's so sad to lose a loved one when they have lived a long life, but to lose a child is even more so. But with faith, we get thru it. My husband had so many questions when his mother died leaving a family of 10 children, the youngest being only 6 months old at the time. His biggest question was "Why would God do this to a family that needed her so?" I told him that we do not know God's plans for us and we have to take it on faith. If we don't believe this, then the questions will continually eat at us and what faith we had will be lost. I know that you have such a faith that you can and will leave it in God's hands and believe that He had a greater plan for Alaina than any you or Billy could ever dream for her. I'm glad that Holden is all better now and can continue to mend from losing his dear sister. I sent Billy an email but didn't know if he got it because I'm not even sure that I have his current email address. And I knew that I didn't have a current phone number or address so I felt at a loss when I heard the news. Just know that I am here for you if there is anything that I can do. I'm so glad that Dick sent me the link to this blog and at least I can contact you this way.

I love you and Billy and your beautiful family.

Ouida (Billy's cousin) in Greensboro, NC.

PS...ask him if he remembers the hockey game that he and Karen and I went to.

Sarah said...

Hope,
I so laughed at the ski story because I remember you telling me about it shortly after it happened. I am not going to leave a long note..only to say what everyone else has said. I am praising God that Holden is O.K. and my heart still aches for you and Billy with the loss of sweet Alaina. However, I know the truths you speak and am nodding my head the whole time I read your blog. I love you guys.
Sarah

Michael and Jennifer Werneth said...

hope,
just wanted you to know that im still praying for you. so glad holden is ok. a favorite hymn of mine:
I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say

1. I heard the voice of Jesus say,
“Come unto Me and rest;
Lay down, O weary one lay down,
Your head upon My breast.”
I came to Jesus as I was,
So weary, worn and sad;
I found in Him my resting place,
And He has made me glad.
2. I heard the voice of Jesus say,
“Behold I freely give
The living water; thirsty one,
Stoop down and drink, and live.”
I came to Jesus, and I drank
From that life-giving stream
My thirst was quenched, my soul revived,
And now I live in Him.
3. I heard the voice of Jesus say,
“I am this dark world’s light;
Look unto Me, thy morn shall rise,
And all thy days be bright.”
I looked to Jesus, and I found
In Him my star, my sun;
And in that light of life I’ll walk
’Til pilgrim days are done.

love you
jen

Anonymous said...

hope, nothing happens by mistake.
so many years ago, there's a reason your parents named you "HOPE." You are providing so many of us who know you (and even perfect strangers) a renewed hope in Christ. Thanks for being the beautiful woman I always knew you would be

Anonymous said...

oops. forgot to sign my last post. i'm getting senile.
the last comment was from me.
mrs. cowan

brimom19 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Hope,
I continue in prayer for you and your family. I have been praying for your "new normal" realizing that it must seem so "not normal". I'm sure as you move, things will once again "hit" you and I am continuing to pray for you all.
Heather Bronson
Naperville

Allison said...

I don't know you, but I just wanted you to know that I prayed for your sweet family tonight.