Thursday, July 1, 2010

Two Years Ago

Two years ago.......

My life was really easy

Compared to today, my God was really small

I had no idea how hard this road was about to be

I had no idea how sick Alaina was

We were having a fun/normal summer- beach, VBS, friends

I complained a lot more in my heart

My whole world changed

I realized just how out of control I was

I planned my daughter's funeral and brushed her hair for the last time

I wept and ached and wept and ached

My God was Big

I was small

I let go of this world in a deeper way

A part of my heart went to heaven

I became very fearful

I gained perspective

The gospel was planted deeper in my heart and life

I realized you never get over something like this, but you get through it by God's grace

I thanked God for laying the foundation in my life to allow me to trust Him when I was completely broken and helpless

I had faithful friends claim His promises for my family

I realized that it only takes a moment in time for your life to be radically changed forever

I prayed that God would use it all for His glory and His name even though I didn't understand

I began to see that God would be faithful to all his promises

I began to place all my hope in Him

I need Him today, just as much as I did two years ago.

We sang "Desert Song" this past Sunday at church and I've been singing it over and over since then....."All of my life, in every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship."


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